Fall is definitely here. The rain has come, daylight savings has ended, the gorgeous, colorful fall foliage has turned to fallen leaves and twigs everywhere on the ground, driveways, sidewalks and streets. It is almost time for Thanksgiving and the holiday season to begin…family and friends get togethers, parties, delicious foods, decorations, outings, giving and receiving, holiday music, aromas from pine trees, wreaths, hot cider and cocoa and candles fill the air.
It is a joyous time for most but maybe not for all. While this particular column is not meant to be a downer, it is a perspective on how some deal with the holidays (maybe every day) and how we can all help each other and just maybe change someone’s life for the better. What affects many seniors (I prefer honored citizens) is called Social Isolation and Loneliness, which are recognized now as a public health crisis. One-in-five older adults in Washington County alone report symptoms of depression or anxiety from loneliness and isolation. There is a lack of connection with others and a deep impact on physical and mental health, from high blood pressure to a poor immune system, poor eating and sleeping habits to name a few.
There is solid evidence that people who have a sense of belonging live healthier and longer lives. This statement actually fits any age group, and any age group can feel lonely or isolated, but the Aging in Place column focuses on our honored citizens. There are two parts to finding answers – the first part is for those who can and hopefully will reach out to those who can’t, and the second part is for those who can’t or don’t know how to reach out.
The first part: I know there are hours, days, sometimes weeks that our lives are packed full with schedules, obligations, family, work, play, stressors and we are surrounded by people who see us, support and help us, talk to us, laugh and cry with us. What about those that don’t have any of this? Can we reach out and touch someone? Instead of just a wave, how about putting out the garbage cans when you put yours out, sharing phone numbers in case of an emergency or just to call and say “Hi, how are you today? or “I’m going to the store, can I get you anything?” Surprise someone with flowers or a pretty plant or a sweet treat. Just to be noticed and have even a short conversation – the weather is always a good ice breaker – can make such a difference in someone’s life. A longer conversation may open up a whole new world to you when you hear and listen to whom this person is on the inside. There is a story there filled with wisdom, history, life lessons and perspectives that just might fill you with joy and wonderment and even awe. Try it out. It only costs a few minutes of your time but can make somebody’s whole day.
The second part: you are the one experiencing isolation and loneliness and you can change that. It might feel a bit scary to reach out but you need to try. Call a friend or family member and just say “Hi, thinking of you today.” You be the one to reach out to a friend in need or going through a tough time. Now you both feel connected and useful, supporting each other. Don’t stay inside all day. Wrap up warm and take a short walk in the fresh air. It can boost your energy and mood and you just might encounter another walker to smile and say hi to. Find an activity that you enjoy. The Juanita Pohl Senior Cener has exercise classes, a book club, lunch and learn classes, catered lunch every Tuesday and Friday at noon, day trips, puzzles and games, a lending library, people in the building looking for and receiving connections, conversations, friendships just like you. If mobility is an issue, call Ride Connection and schedule free transportation wherever you need to go in Tualatin.
It’s not easy, I know, to put yourself out there. Feeling lonely is a hard emotion but it doesn’t mean you are failing. It does mean only you can take the first step. Showing up is an act of self-care. Reaching out is a strong and healthy step toward connection. If you need a push to take that step or you need to think about it or talk to someone for help in finding the ‘how do I do this,’ you can find support at the Senior Loneliness Line at 800-282-7035. Trained listeners offer understanding and companionship – no judgment – just kindness.
Those in part one who haven’t and those in part two who don’t think they can, YOU CAN. Both reach out and touch someone and find out just how good it makes you feel.
Questions and/or comments are welcomed, please email: agingtaskforce80@gmail.com.
