At the beginning of every month, I sit down (or, more realistically, I take a pause while driving between errands) and review what is to come in the following weeks. This is my time to make a list of priorities.
Take advantage of the good weather and work on my yard. Call the allergist to follow up on how to avoid all things outside when my job consists of working outside.
Most of my list is the repetitive chores that my household fondly refers to as “the flow.” These are chores like cleaning the washing machine and dusting the guest room. Those maintenance items allow the future daily and weekly tasks to flow smoothly.
After listing those chores, the last step is to check for any dates that need to be remembered, including birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays.
You know, the semi-important dates that are easy to forget. Then suddenly, you are wandering through Target thirty minutes before, convinced you can throw together something for that special someone. Knowing full well that you were aware this event was coming up. Just to end up with four half packages of tissue paper in your house because it is never in your car when you need it. No, just me?
Every month, without a doubt, I convince myself that I will not forget an event, or be late, and stay on top of things. Most months, I fail. But once in a blue moon, it all falls into place perfectly.
So, in preparation for this month, I have noted that Father’s Day is approaching. Father’s Day is a traditional gift-giving holiday. Gifts are where I usually start to fall apart, and I have to get two!
My husband already has all of the perfect gifts for himself. When he sees something he likes, he simply purchases it. This year, his first Father’s Day, it should be special. At the same time, this gift will set the tone for all future gift-giving, so it has to be just right. Maybe a new grill brush? A fun video game? The super fancy hand-mudded wood-fire pizza oven? The pressure is on.
Then there’s my father, who is equally difficult and easy to shop for. Find something he likes. A drone replica of a spaceship from his favorite movies? Easy. Socks? Easy. But it always feels like nothing entirely does him justice. Do these glowing lightsaber chopsticks from Amazon match up to the level of sincerity that I want to convey in my gifts? One year, my family got him zip-ties for Christmas because he always uses zip-ties. He loved it, and we laughed.
After much research, I have concluded that Father’s Day gifts tend to be tools, machines, something to do, something to build… and it brought to mind this question: Is this just a thinly veiled way to say do more work?
Do fathers want something more to do? Is there true joy in assembling the forty-piece gazebo kit that will sit in the yard? Do they need a new lawn mower? After all these questions, I reflected on my father’s role.
In my childhood, my father was always working in the nursery. He successfully lived his passion and provided for us. As I grew up, he took on additional roles. My father also helps with dishes, vacuums the house, and rotates laundry. He helps “the flow” move along.
He helps because it has been made easy. The rhythm has become routine, and he has all of the tools at his disposal. The vacuum is cordless; it can be carried around without worrying about which outlet you need to find. The dishes have been upgraded so that there is less handwashing to do every evening.
In these instances, there is something to make the work easier. Adjustments to the flow, or upgrades, extra boost power. My father takes pride in being able to unburden my mother. The clean house helps us all work more effectively and efficiently.
Could this be the true intent behind Father’s Day? The gifts of tools, jobs to do, and things to build are the gifts that set him up for success. Maybe the gazebo will help protect the outdoor furniture, providing us with a space to have our friends stop by and relax. That would bring him joy. Maybe the lawn mower will allow him to accomplish the chore faster, leaving him more time to spend with the family. This would be relaxing. Perhaps he finds validation in having a successful hanging basket. The basket care kit provides the tools necessary for him to find that pride. Or maybe he’s a Dad who wants to enjoy the work being accomplished for him and take the day off. In that case, something pre-planned, like dinner, may be the winner.
In any case, this entire crisis has left me with a few more things to think about. I will leave the gift-buying for a little later (two-day delivery is a lifesaver). In the meantime, I will spend a little more time with the fathers in my life, working in my yard, and accomplishing things that give us pride.
