Helping You Navigate Your Journey Through Parenting, The Art of Avoiding Power Struggles

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BY KIM DEMARCHI

A power struggle is when a person holds one position and another person holds a different position and both are unwilling to change their positions. It is rarely about the issue at hand. It is about feeling powerless and wanting to feel more power within the situation.

Most of us were parented with coercive power which uses force, guilt, punishment, criticism, yelling, nagging, or withdrawal of love. It motivates through fear, instead of love. Unfortunately, many parents use this type of power to get their children to do what they want because it often works in the short-term and it is what most of us know from being parented. It, however, rarely brings long term results, and in the process, destroys parent-child relationships. So, how can parents avoid getting pulled into full blown power struggles?

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